Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The "Procedure" follow up...

So the day before my first triathlon of the year, I had a follow up visit to the Urologist. I haven't decided if my Urologist is a former contestant from the Bachelorette or models part time for Ralph Lauren, but he's a damn handsome man (in a non-sexual sort of way). I'm secure enough in my man-hood to say that, however, there is always a level of weirdness when one man (handsome or not) puts on latex gloves, asks the other man to pull his pants down to his ankles, and then tries to have a normal conversation about guy stuff; football, cars,  favorite know, normal guy stuff. When all the while, all I can think about is how this makes a living centered around other men's "junk". Then I asked myself (not out loud of course), "what kind of guy decided's that he's going to do this for a living?"

Below is a close representation of myself and my Urologist...guess which one I am.

Anyway, only after I hear the "snap" of the removal of his latex gloves do I wake from my "happy place" and realize that we are finished. He does however have some homework for me. He hands me 2 boxes with a small container in each. He says they are for the "samples" he wants me to bring in sometime in September. I thought that was a little cold and impersonal considering we were just getting to know each other. So after a brief discussion about the "samples" and how they use them to make sure the "procedure" worked 100%, he explained that if the "procedure" wasn't 100% effective, he'd want more samples and I'd have to get another box. Wow, now I thought he was getting a little needy and clingy and that maybe this relationship wasn't going to work out, but I'd wait to see how the first 2 samples came out (not literally, of course) before coming to any conclusions.
So now I have 2 future dates with my boxes and I thought I need make it less cold and impersonal and might as well give them each a name. So here's a few that came to mind;

Betty and Wilma? Cartoon chicks, that's a little weird.

Cagney and Lacy? chicks with handcuffs and dangerous

Thelma and Louise? Getting better, but they are two crazy chicks.

Ginger and Mary Ann! That it! and if I need another sample, I will name her Mrs. Howell. What? Age is just a number.

1 comment: